Talking about yourself is hard, at least for me. It feels weird. But maybe after I type this it will feel good. Who knows.

Why am I doing this? Typing this. Good question. Well, this is my website. I can do what I want right? But no, I want others who feel like me to know they aren’t alone. To read this and go, ok I get it.

So let’s start from the day I was born, there was an earthquake. No shit. Really. But we aren’t going back that far, that would be crazy.

Growing up we were poor. Running from repo man, power turned off, getting food from school to bring home, HUD housing, food stamps poor. It is no biggie. Like did it suck then, no. All my friends were just like me. The “rich” kids made fun of us. Picked on us, called us names. I grew up in the 80s and 90s. We were just meaner then. Would I wish my childhood on anyone? No. But I’m glad I had it. It has taught me a lot. It scared me a lot too.

Confidence was not something I had. I mean, I had the free government coke bottle glasses all through elementary. I had knock off LA Gear shoes. I was made fun of and put down by my peers and family my whole life. Damn the man was my parents’ mentality. It wasn’t their fault, it was everyone else’s. So there wasn’t much for me. Why try because everyone else will smack you down. So confidence or thinking I could do anything successful was NOT in my mind ever.

I met my husband, cue the love music. And I mean I could go on and on and on. But truly he helped me. Changed me. But still, confidence was something I didn’t have. I was a former poor kid, I didn’t finish college, I didn’t have a “career”, I didn’t have a fancy house, and the list could go on. All those things that you think you should have. Ok, let me also tell you, we were 18 when we bought our first house. Yep, a mortgage. You’d think i’d feel on top of the world, right? I did but I didn’t. I still didn’t think I was good enough. i didn’t have all those other things.

Fast forward and we had kids. I stayed home with our kids. I didn’t have a college degree or career, remember? So the pay wasn’t huge. It would go for childcare and clothes and gas and junk. So we cut corners and I stayed home. I do not regret it ever. But as a SAHM you go through a mental tornado sometimes. At least i did.

Never once did my husband make me feel like it. But in my head, i couldn’t buy myself anything because i didn’t make anything. And the house needed to be clean, the kids needed to be good, the perfect room mom, making the perfect snacks, couponing to save money. If there was a big bill (car repair, home repair, you get it), i would internalize it was my fault because i didn’t make any money. Again this could truly just be me lol. But it was a mind screw sometimes. Remember, i didn’t have those things I think i needed to make money. To be successful.

I was proud of what i created at home. The organized, cute snacks, homemade goods mom and wife. But do you notice a theme, it was all for others…everything i did was for my kids and my husband. None of it was really for me.

I took a leap and got my massage license. I opened my own practice. And damn i was proud of that. It was MINE. My business. I ran it. I was making money. People were coming to see me because of the skills i had. I felt confident about something about me. I was pretty good at it too. That isn’t me being cocky. I was.

fast forward ( i do that often I’m noticing lol) i had to close my practice due to my personal health reasons ( i have terrible feet, i can write about that later if you wanna know lol). It threw me for a hard loop. But i poured myself back into the kids and the husband. I remember one day we were at lunch and Jeremy said, “Babe, you need something for you” and i thought that it crazy. I have you guys.

Scentsy fell in my lap. I wasn’t looking for it at all. Totally thought i’d fail. But it is the confidence that i had lost. It is MY business that I’ve created on my own. It sounds weird i know. And direct sales/network marketing, whatever you wanna call this gets a bad rap. But if you look at it through my eyes, it has brought me confidence, pride, I’m a better wife, mother and friend because of it. And I’ll dive into all that scentsy stuff later.

So yeah, this is me. The journey, the struggle, the wins. And I guess if you’re feeling like you’re not enough or you don’t have ‘the right things’ to succeed, I just want you to know—you’re not alone. If I can find my thing, maybe you can too.”

xoxo amber g.

(ps, I’m off to puke because that was scary)

(pps, because I’m a 90s teen and we did that, if you think this read will help others, share it with them. If you hated it, don’t tell me, I’ll cry)